On Photography

Got myself a new DSLR recently, Nikon D5000. That one decision has set me on the road to learning photography and mastering my camera. And its turning out to be quite an awesome journey.

It's the same for all things, when you attempt to learn something new, you go through a journey.

From the exciting beginnings, to the confusion and desperation, to the sudden insights and then the feeling of content, only to realize that there's so much more that you didn't know and that there's so much more that could make a lot of difference. This journey never ends.

I look at those pros, and think, damn when will I ever be able to take snaps like them. But I know I have something in me. I know that when I read these articles and rules on how to take good snaps and realize that I already knew these things intuitively. Nobody had told me these things and yet I knew. It feels really great when you see that what you always knew, is mentioned down as a rule for other people to learn.

I take my camera along everywhere I can. Every week I learn something new. I think at this point in time I know most of the things. And its more practice that's going to lead me higher.

No, I don't just want to take pictures for fun. I want to take pictures that will blow your mind away. Make you say "Wow!"

Am not there yet, but that's the journey am on.

I see dead people...

Ok, now don't jump of your seat, I haven't gone pyscho.. :-)

But I love this line from the Sixth Sense. I just feel that, I tend to see things differently from most people. I can see things that others somehow can't. I mean be it at work or otherwise, I tend to have a different perspective, something other's hadn't thought of.

Like sometimes I see a movie and like it, only to know the others thought it was a horrible movie :-) Just that I could see what the director meant to portray..or maybe I interpreted it differently..

I just happen to see things differently..like my eyes being fitted with a different camera..a different view :-)

Unlike the boy in the Sixth Sense, I think this a blessing, I can see things that others cannot.:-)

Timeless

Attempted a poem after a really really long time..for a friend's birthday...

For somethings are timeless.

The picture that you take,
the painting that you make,
the poems that you write,
the words that rhyme,
and the thoughts that flow,
the song that you sing,
All that an act of creation,
an expression of self,
the wonder in that, truly yours
and yours alone.

Our hobbies and our passions enrich us, define us, make us grow.
So this birthday, here's hoping, you are inspired to 
to pick up a new hobby and or liven up a long forgotten one.

And so these books,
Not a rulebook,
but an inspiration;
- to more things timeless.

The German goalkeeper's suicide...

His widow Teresa said she had hoped her love would help her husband pull through his crisis.

"I tried to give him hope again, to show him that football was not everything, that we had each other," she bravely told a press conference through the tears.

"I was always by his side: I believed, with love, we could pull through this.

"But football meant everything to him."

http://www.matthewyglesias.com/world/1174-germany-goalkeeper39s-suicide-came-after.html

I feel deeply saddened by this news. The day's paper had news about two other suicides as well. Both young boys, who had taken their lives. One after being punished by his teacher. Other after failing his exam.

It's even harder, seeing his wife talk on television, trying to hold back the tears. When you think of all the pain he's had to go through, he lost his two year old kid to a heart infection, you think, it must have been really really difficult to continue to go on.

But when you have someone who loves you and is there to be by your side, how then can you take your own life? That's something I am finding it so hard to understand.

I have always felt that, when someone is at a point where he is thinking of ending his life, all he needs to know is that he is invaluable to someone. It's only when they are convinced, that it would matter to no one, no one at all, if they were not to be there any longer, then and only then can they take that extreme step of taking their lives.

All those people who take their lives, I wish they knew they were not as alone as they thought themselves to be. And I wish strength to the people around them. May they inspire them to see the beauty that is there in life. Even when their share of pain is more than what they should have had.

But unfortunately, love alone was not enough for him. It is indeed work that gives our life meaning. And what happens when you lose that? Can love help tide you over?? In this case though, it couldn't. And that saddens me a great deal.

I wish his widow peace and the will to live, it's going to be even more harder for her to live without him now, but she has to, for her child.

Can't believe it..

That my last post was almost an year ago! You mean a year's gone by so fast?
And that I haven't written anything at all!

As another birthday looms near :-), I realize, I have to get back, to what I once loved doing...

So heres hoping, that I am back to writing..!

Happy Birthday!

Well, here's me, another year older :-)

The highlight of the day? The full Happy Bday song sung to me over the phone by my niece, nephew and aunts :-) Wow, that felt real nice. I guess one is never too old to enjoy the good old Happy Bday being sung to you!!

The second highlight was the absolutely delicious cake.. I have been getting to have a lot of cakes recently.. :-)

Not in too much of a mood to celebrate either, given all that's been happening in the city.

Too much has happened, it could have been worse, but that's no consolation for the ones who have lost their loved ones.

So I can't help thinking about Death on a day like this. None of us can escape it for sure when our time comes. But till then, every moment is a gift. And all that matters is we live our life.

This year has been a real tough time for me. But wonder of wonders! I have made it through.. alive!

And I now have realised one thing... if it's meant to happen, it will, in its own sweet time.

At the same time, it's not destiny to look forward to. It's the moments to look forward to.

And thank you Lord, for all the miracles and coincidences, just when I was least expecting anything. They keep me going...

Dead Poet's Society..

On poetry...

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.

And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?"

Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be."

Of Problems...

Why is it that nothing in life is ever simple? Why is it that there are always problems?
Why is it that something always goes wrong? Why is it that nothing ever goes to a plan?
Why is it that wishes never come true?

And I look around myself and I see problems everywhere. Kashmir's burning to the build being broken. Big or small, something wrong everywhere.

So much we wish to resolve these problems. So much we wish there wouldn't be any more.
But yet, out of nowhere, it shows up again.

The perfect state, no issues and no problems and life's smooth and all are happy and at peace.
Why is this so impossible? Why can't we have a world without problems? 

Maybe, that would be a movie without a villain? Boring?

I find it so fascinating...in the end..for all that they say and for all that they talk and for all that they claim, its adversity that separates the men from the boys, the real from the fake, the strong from the weak.

So then, here's me, up against all my little problems, that my life has wisely chosen to test me with, taking courage in the saying, "For what doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger!"

Life's other name then must be problem.

My Life..

That breathtaking shot. That inspiring scene.

Transported dreams. Poetic awe.

That hard to put down read. That philosophical write

Movie magic. Musical high. 

Lazy weekends. My friends.

Morning sunrise. Nighttime glow. 

Mom's kitchen. Maximum City.

What would my life be, 

without you.

Who Am I?

Just looked at my orkut profile and saw how horribly outdated it is..or have I changed a lot in the last year..I guess we are ever changing...our interests, hobbies, priorities..does it then make sense to define who you are at any given time?

Who am I?
If only that were such a simple answer.
The lessons life throws at me,
how can I not be different each day.
Does it matter then who I am today,
when I will no longer be the same tomorrow?
Or maybe, I will always be the same.
And no one will still know the difference?

The Greatest..

The hardest thing in the world. The Wait.

The greatest gift?  The gift of Inspiration.

The purest thing? Unbridled Enthusiasm.

The best unwind? Friends n Music.

The greatest escape? An engrossing read. A thrilling watch.

The greatest invention in the world?

 The telephone. Never far from the ones we love.

 The aircraft. When the sound of their voices are just not enough.

The most beautiful thing in the world?
 Two people, in love with each other. Their eyes.
 A mother's unconditional love.
 A father's pride.

I Want..

I want a world without fires.
 Would that be a world without heroes?
I want a world without crisis.
 Where will then be the opportunity to rise up to the occasion?
I want a world that's easy. 
 But that would be bore me to the death.

I want a world without pain.
 But then would happiness still mean the same?
I want a world without evil.
 But then what would good triumph over?

I want a world without fights.
 But would anyone then care about anything?
I want a world without problems,
 But then how would I ever grow?

I want a world where I get what I want.
 But then would I prize them as much?

I want a world without work.
 But then would my life mean as much?
I want a world without rules.
 But so would be a world full of chaos.

I want a world that's fair.
 But that's too much to ask for?
 How else can I be wise?

Meeting myself...

It's not daily that you open the door to pickup the morning newspaper and find yourself standing outside.

"Heavens!! What the hell?!"

And it's not daily that you end up with Heaven and Hell in the same breath.

"Am I dreaming? What are you? And what are you doing outside?” I add.

"I am you! Who else!! Can’t you see? Wakeup!"

Well, it's someone who looks very much like me for sure. Well, I'll just let him in and see where this goes...

"Ah, well, then, come on in." I now try and act cool.

"Have a seat. Should I say, consider yourself at home?"

"Well, thank you.

"So, what brings you here then? I wasn't really expecting you, you know?"

"Well, what's life without a little surprise thrown in? Isn't it?"

"Thanks! I am really glad for the surprise."  

"This is a dream, isn't? Please tell me this just another of those dreams". I am pinching myself as I say this.

"Well, you are the one who keeps talking about dreams coming true! But ya, this is no dream."

"Great!” I look around, rub my eyes. But to no avail. Things around me are still the same.And he is still standing there in front of me! This is no dream!! 

But he seemed harmless. I feel I can relax a bit. After all, it's just me am dealing here with!
"So where are you from? And what news do you bring for me?"

Is he from the future? Scenes from Terminator flash through my mind. Nah, I think I would settle for Back To Future instead.

"Yes I am from the future. October 2012."

2012? That's the year all those news channels had been touting as the new "End of the World" date.

"What?!"

"Yes, they are right. They are this time."

"I don't believe this. And if the world did end, what happened to you? How are you here?"

"I am here to help you save the world."

"Me? Save the world?" I am about to faint, as I hear loud laughter.

"Nah, joking! Caught you!!"

"Please, right now am not really in a mood to appreciate your humour, so if you can please?" 

Am beginning to lose my temper.

"Can you please tell me why you are here? You see, I really don't like getting angry, especially with myself."

"Hey have some patience man! I have a question for you."

A question? What's he going to ask?

"Well, I want to know.... why haven't you blogged since long?!"

What?? Did some of my readers send him here?

"Well, you know...change in place...it's a new project..I have more responsibilities now..."

"Crap!"

"Well, I just haven't been able to take out much time to write..!"

"Have you forgotten how much you loved writing?"

"Hmm..I haven’t...but..."

"Hey, you don't use it, you lose it!"

"I don't want to lose what I have."

"Yup. And that takes some work now boy."

"I still love to write. That act of creation. That flow of words. Filling up the blank spaces..."

"Yes..that quiet satisfaction..of having let yourself free..of letting your imagination fly.."

"Of not being happy with your first write and it getting better and better with each draft..."

"Thanks...thanks for coming in here and encouraging me to write again."

"Well! I have defied all the laws of physics to just be here."

"Who are you really? Are you really time traveling or something from the future? Or are you just an illusion?"

"No. I am your spark. The spark of your imagination."

"Ah!"

"And now make me a promise that you will continue writing regularly?"

"I promise :-)"

"It's time for me to go then."

"When will I see you again?"

"I will be back, just when you need me again. :-)"

And with that he vanished into thin air. 

And I retire back to my bed thinking I have to write about this!

Being in the zone...

That sense of wonder. That thrill.
That goes right to the heart.

That wonder of creating something.
Something that's truly yours.
Master of your creation.

Of small little wins. One at a time. Adding up.
Lightning hands. Magic in them.
World stopping still. Time flying fast.
No stopping me. What are obstacles?

That sense of silence. Another world.
Peace. Joy. Happiness. Exhilaration.

To feel elevated. Above the ordinary.
That is to feel heaven.
It's called being in the zone. That moment of absolute bliss when you are God.
And whatever it is that you are doing, you are at your absolute best.

Programming, photography, writing....some of the things that have thrown me into the "zone"....

But nowadays its so much harder...work load, change of place, dont know what..

A Moment of Inspiration

So this one's inspired by all that IPL fever going on..and also an attempt to capture a moment in time...

Out he walked into chaos.
11 pairs of eyes boring down deep into him,
seeming to tell him,
you too will perish, just like the others.
Soon you too will be running back home,
tail between your legs.

He trudges along scared. A situation too alien for him.
Hopes of his team resting on his fragile shoulders, as thoughts race through his mind,
Why me, Lord? Why has it come down to me of all the people?
So many stars, yet it's me who's been asked to do this miracle.

He takes his guard trembling, his partner watches him from the other end.
The speed wagon thrutles down the ground.
He could feel the earth shake even more.
As if a storm was heading straight for him.
A deafening sound.
And in a moment, it has whizzed past him.

He's still alive. But the battle's lost.
The predator has smelt the fear in the eyes of the prey.
Something that will spur him to come back stronger to swoon in for the kill.
He wants this to quickly end. It's hard to take in this pressure.

And he looks at his partner, to see that he has given up hope.
He turns to look at his coach, who can only shake his head in despair.
He suddenly feels very lonely. All alone in this impossible situation.
Left to fend for himself.

And in this moment of loneliness, he remembers his fathers word's.
You are no good, just look at you, you can never be a cricketer.
You will always be a failure in cricket as you are a failure in life now.
And suddenly his face is flush with rage.
He remembers the promise he had made to himself, to prove his father wrong.

And this here, right now, he could hear his father's laughter.
Almost mocking him.

I have to do this. I will prove myself.
All those days and all those nights, has now come down to this moment.
A sudden strength comes over him, possessing him.

The storm comes running down again.
Up goes the bat, swinging down from the height,
the sweet sound
and away goes the ball, a beautiful trajectory,
high, sailing away,
way over the limits,
right into the deafening roar of the crowd.

It's a maximum! It's a miracle!

But he's still standing there. Suddenly the world's a blur.
But he can still see that white,
trace that path up into the sky,
almost as if in a slow motion replay.
Proud that it was him that had put it up there.
Boy, such a beautiful sight,
to see it go flying into the air like that.

He had done it. He had conquered his fears yet again.
He had proved his father wrong.
But the irony wasn't lost on him.
In the end, it was in his father's very words,
that he had found courage,
when he needed it most.