Am I my Right Brain? Or Am I my Left Brain?

Saw the movie Sleepless in Seattle a few weeks back. Meg Ryan looked too different for me in this movie.Anyways it was a nice movie. Very sentimental. Some touching scenes. Some humour. But there was something missing. Somehow I didn't feel as moved.

And I think it was because this movie lacked intellectual content. Now not to be unfair to the director, but this movie seemed to be meant for the heart alone. And I just wasn't so convinced about the two people destined for each other thing.

And then I happened to see Next Stop Wonderland again. And it hit me; this movie had the same theme about two people destined for each other, who keep walking by each other only to meet at the end of the movie. But this was a movie I immensely enjoyed!

So here's the question. Two movies. Same stories. Same theme. Same ending. Why then is it that I found one kinda ok. And the other too good. Why did I enjoy one so much more over the other?

And I think it has to do with the two halves of my brain :-).

I had been researching the Right Brain/Left Brain theory a while ago. So, left brain is analytical reasoning, logic and maths. And your right brain is intuition, music, art and emotion. Basically people are either of the brains dominated. And some of us are active in both.

So why is this important? And what does all this have to do with me liking a movie? or a book? or even a person?

Well, a person who is active in both, appreciates stimulation of both areas of his brain. And so he is more likely to enjoy a movie that appeals to his intellect as well as his emotion.

He won’t enjoy a book with intellectual content, if it doesn’t move his heart. At the same time he won’t enjoy a book which targets human emotions alone. The perfect book or movie is the one that has a good mix of intellectual and emotional content.

And that why I think I was left unsatisfied after Seattle. Or may be this was just the hangover of Before Sunset. But then, this theory again does explain why I liked that movie so much.

Next Stop Wonderland had a very intelligent heroine. And there was lots of intelligent humour throughout the movie. The movie seemed closer to real life.

Women, it seems are naturally right brained. Its a well know fact that women have a better sense of intuition than men. May be they are better at the arts than us men.

It seems to me, most of the women I know are really good at photography. May be they don’t understand the technicalities well, but they seem to have a natural sense of composition and aesthetics.

Photography, poetry and writing are right brain activities. But software development is obviously left brain and I love what I do. And so I think I am  active in both areas.

And that does explain, much more than ever before, why I like some things more than the others.

And now I also know for sure (can you ever be sure in love?), whom I will end up falling in love with :-)

I feel more at peace now. To know who you are and understand why you are as you are is a beautiful feeling. Explains a lot of things.

The Music in Our Lives

So I am feeling a bit low. And suddenly my ipod plays me this Kabul Express song, “Keh Raha Mera Dil To”. And I can’t help feel better. By the end of the song, I know it’s a minor miracle. I am out of my bad mood. It’s as if the music has uplifted me. And I take out my laptop to write this piece down, as the music continues.

Of all the things in the world, the sound of music must be the sweetest thing in the world. Of all the things in the world, I cannot imagine a life without music. It’s amazing how it can just transport you elsewhere. Lift your spirits on a gloomy day. Soothe an aching heart. Inspire thoughts of love. Make time fly away.

There’s this awe inspiring scene in Shawshank Redemption where Andy plays the Italian Opera on the prison loudspeaker, sending the entire prison into a stunned silence. The prisoners had forgotten the magic in the music, but Andy hadn’t. For him it represented hope, it was in his heart and soul, the one thing that they could not take away from him. This is one of my favourite scenes from this very inspiring movie.

Red: "I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."

One of the first things that I do when I visit my home in Mumbai over the weekend, is to turn on my Sony DVD system and play Guru’s 'Ay Hayrathe'. I don’t know why but I just love listening to this song when I am at home. The soft sonorous sounds fill in the air. Like a bubble rising slowly. And as the sound permeates through the air around me, my body seems to absorb the waves of soothing music and I feel great peace. The funny thing is, I don’t enjoy this song elsewhere as much as I enjoy it at home. Maybe it’s the joy of returning home after a long time.

The beautiful thing about music is how there's a song for every occasion. I mean I love waking up to rock in the morning. A dose of nice soft music eases me into sleep at night. A of course there's some nice foot tapping music on boring afternoons at work.

True, music can make you laugh. Make you cry. Make you dance. Make you dream. Even overcome pain!

Haven't you ever had one of those times when you have this splitting headache, and you put on your headphones and soon you are so immersed in the music that you forget about your headache?

Can you even imagine a world without music?

I am really grateful to all those wonderful musicians out there, big and small, who through their music have given us some beautiful moments to enjoy. Long after you are gone, your music lives on. And thanks to you, I am never lonely when I am with my music.

And so it's a silent Sunday night. 12:45 am. And as I end this piece, as if my reading my mind, the Ipod has started playing “Ay, Hayrathe….". And here I go lose myself again....

The Life Partner?

Going by the number of blog posts I have been reading since the last few weeks, this seems to be a topic on the minds of a lot of us out there.

The Life Partner. The one with whom I will spend the rest of my life? Just the very thought is scary. What if I get it wrong? What if I end up marrying the wrong person? A lifetime of grief and frustration?

And how do I find the right person? Where do I even search? And how will I know when I do find her? So many questions!!

Arranged Marriage? Love Marriage? Arranged cum Love Marriage? What the heck!

I want to think, why take the trouble at all? Why marry at all?
Why can't I just be on my own all my life?

These were the questions that I often used to ask myself. And I think I am gradually finding the answers. And I find myself slowly gaining a kind of peace as I understand these answers.

You see, one of the biggest of my concerns was always making a mistake and choosing the wrong person. I mean, the world tells us that there is someone made for us waiting for us somewhere. But what if that someone, if she did exist, was somewhere out there, say in the jungles of Africa? :-)

Or in Alaska? Or in New York? Paris? I mean how you can ever be sure that someone is the one made for you till you have met every other girl out there in the world! How can you ever be sure that there is no one else out there who's not a better match for you than the one you are with now?

So if this doesn't make sense, what we are really coming down to is someone within our circle with whom we have a logical chance of having a relationship. But which then means it’s a choice. It's a choice whom we decide to love. Whom we decide to marry.

I am not saying we can choose or decide to fall in love with someone. But we can and do always choose to continue to love or not.
There is always an element of choice.

Next for me is the aversion to arranged marriage that I had for a long time. How can you marry someone whom you hardly know?

But fact is, I have seen them succeed. I see my friends happily entering into arranged marriages. And I now realize, there's a basic reason that they do succeed.

You see, first of all, it's an exercise of choice by both the parties.

To understand the second, let's take the example of a couple who fall in love. It may take no time to fall in love, but it usually takes time to be really in love with someone. And it happens only after a considerable period of togetherness, when two people grow with each other and learn more about each other.

Of course two people would want to spend considerable time only if they like each other in the first place. But then the truth about liking somebody is, we are generally inclined towards liking people.

I mean if two people, with good hearts and clean intentions, and a basic level of compatibility, meet, they are more than likely to end up liking each other unless there's a turn off from either side. I mean, why would I not like someone who I know is a nice person?

And if two people who like each other spend time with each other, more often than not, they are going to end up falling in love. It's almost an inevitable law of nature!

Well, maybe not always. But what I am driving at is, this is exactly the same situation a couple who has had an arranged marriage is in. They know they like each other. There is a bit of chemistry and they seem to be compatible with each other. And they have chosen to love each other. And even if they do not feel love when they are married, with time, they inevitably will end up in love. It's as simple as that.

So ultimately, what I realize is, love is not always the instinctual love at first sight or the passionate romance. Often it's simply a decision to love. A decision to face life's battles together. And share the joys and sorrows together.

And when both the partners are committed to that decision, the marriage has every chance of success. That's all you need really.

So all you people out there don't sweat. The love in the movies and novels also does exist. But so is the kind of love that grows on you. The kind where you don’t even realize when it has happened to you.

But ultimately, it all starts from a simple decision.

And I tell myself all this and write down all this and then one question comes straight to me. What about the passion? How in the world can you manufacture passion where there is none? Can you arrange passion? But I do not know the answer to that question yet.
That's the unexplained magic I guess.

I can only hope, that whoever it is, would feel as much passion for me as I for her. Yes, at the end of the day, fact is, love is best experienced, not defined.

And I have now realized that my attempts to understand and explain this wonderful phenomenon is futile.

And so I give up. And hope. For the magic to happen someday.

And I want to end this post with these quotes from the movie, The Village.

"It is amazing what two people love chooses to unite. It follows no rules."

Are We Good? Or Are We Evil?

To Kill A Mocking Bird.
Separate Lies.

Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mocking Bird): "If you just learn a single trick, Scout, you'll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it."

Two movies I watched last weekend. Two very different movies, different stories. At first glance, nothing in common. But they both raise an interesting question. Are we basically good or evil?

There’s a beautiful simplicity in the Atticus quote. If you can somehow put yourself in someone’s shoes, you will definitely end up understanding him. You will then realise why is it that he does certain things his way.

And this set me thinking. What is it that makes a person commit evil?

Can you do evil? Not at all??!

What if you sincerely think that what you are doing is the right thing, but is in fact causing harm to people?

What if your ego, anger, prejudices and bias has made you blind to their suffering?

What if you have lost the ability to empathize?

What if you cannot put yourself in the shoes of the other and see life from their point of view.

What if you think you are smarter than your conscience?

What if you just don't care? What if simply you walk by someone in need?

What if you simply keep quiet?

Mother in laws harassing their daughter in laws.
Daughter in laws harassing their mother in laws.
The same mother in law whose own daughter is the apple of her eye.
The same daughter who would do anything for her own mother.

Are they then good or evil?

Parents ill treating their children.
Children abandoning their parents when they are old.
The same parents and children who may be excellent husbands, wives, friends. But unable to see their own kin in the same light.

Are they then good or evil?

Though I want to believe that someone who has been truly touched by love cannot do evil to his fellow beings.
But people fall in love all the time. Hitler was in love. That didn't stop him. But then maybe his love was selfish.

2000 years ago, a Great Someone knew that Love is the answer. "Love thy neighbour. Love thy enemy.", He said.

But then how many of us can do that? How many of us even understand what that means?

Another question the Mocking Bird raises is how do you protect the ones you love from evil? You can't be with them every time.
And what will happen when they inevitably have their brush with evil? Will it destroy them? Will they lose all hope in mankind?

And I think it’s the answer to this question that's Mocking Bird's ultimate moral lesson. And one of the reasons for its popularity.

No one is absolutely good or evil. Most people have both good and bad qualities. The important thing is to appreciate the good qualities and understand the bad qualities by treating others with sympathy and trying to see life from their perspective.

If we can remember this lesson from the Mocking Bird, it may be possible to live with conscience without losing hope or becoming cynical, when confronted with the evil in the world.

Another lesson the movie teaches, something that I have myself learned in life, is that all that evil needs after all, is the silence of the good. For good to turn a blind eye and do nothing at all. And I myself am guilty of this.

On a closing note, I have to say I instantly fell in love with the character of Scout. She's the most intelligent 9 yr old I have ever seen portrayed on screen. And she simply stood out from other kids of her age. One very special kid. Someone you know would grow up to be a strong young woman. And then you realise, of course, she has been raised by one very special parent. Atticus.

I just can't wait to get my hands on the book now.

Humbled...

Humbled..., originally uploaded by Aroj.

Who won?
Me, I thought.
But such a fool I am,
It is you who has won,
Look how small I am,
Look how small I feel.
I am humbled,
by you.

This was taken from top of the cliffs at Kudremukh, near Mangalore.

Love the clouds huge floating above and how the guy ends up looking so small compared to the nature around him.

As if man so proudly thinks that he is now the master of the universe, but nature, as it often does, proves him wrong again.

Twins

Twins, originally uploaded by Aroj.

What if I was born this Rock?
What it is to be in his shoes?
What it is to live his life?

What it is to weather the storms?
What it is to face the lightning?
And yet keep the silence?

Bright & Colourful Saturday Afternoon in the City of Gardens

Bright & Colourful Saturday Afternoon in the City of Gardens, originally uploaded by Aroj.

This is Lalbaugh, Bangalore.

Fresh!

Fresh!, originally uploaded by Aroj.

You see just another waterfall,
But I see Fresh.
I see Passion and Energy.
I see Purity and Innocence.

I see a Bride rushing to her groom.
I see a Destiny fulfilled.

What do you see?

Scenic..

Scenic, originally uploaded by Aroj.

Love the mist,
and the mountains,
and clear blue sky.

Heaven lays on Earth itself.

Grass's Eye View

Grass's Eye View, originally uploaded by Aroj.

One of those shots where something I tried worked out well.

So Nilesh had gone off to the top of this rock to take our pictures.
And I decided to snap him with the camera placed just inches off the ground, with a view through the grass and the rocks and him by the top right corner.

A Walk In The Clouds

A Walk In The Clouds, originally uploaded by Aroj.

All that trekking up those rocks,
this makes it worth it!!

Mountain Grass

Mountain Grass, originally uploaded by Aroj.

This is my life.
This is where I was born.
This is where I will grow.
This is where I live.

..on the slopes of a mountain.

You who come from far,
to enjoy these views,
must surely envy me,
For I enjoy this beauty,
night and day.

Like A Flowing River...

River Banks..., originally uploaded by Aroj.

The Joy Of Debugging

It teases me. Challenges me.
Bet you can't find me.
Bet you can't get rid of me.
Not the one to let go, I take up the challenge.

And where do I find him, 
where do I start, 
him hiding behind a million lines of code,
cocking a sneer at me.

And I trust my instinct, bit by bit,
as each clue leads to another,
one small victory at a time,
bringing me closer to his hideout.

And the adrenaline rises as I reach near.
Sometimes it’s so near yet so far.
But never do I feel like giving up.
Can’t go home. Can’t relax, until I hunt down this rat.

And finally I lay a trap for him.
And finally I outwit him.
Finally I catch him, and put him behind the bars.

And what a joy it is.
What was impossible a moment ago,is now achieved.
What was a mystery a moment ago, is now out in the light.

And I smile a quiet satisfaction at him.
Got you boy, how long did you think you could have hid.

Have enjoyed the art of debugging since my childhood. Back then it was guessing who was the killer in the mystery novels. Loved the deductive reasoning style of solving crimes made famous by Sherlock Holmes’s. One of my favourite quotes from the series,

"When you have eliminated all the impossibilities, whatever left however improbable, is nothing but the truth"

Though sometimes I simply love to trust my instinct and guess the
approach to take instead of logically putting together the bits and pieces. But nothing beats a good round of analytical inference to solve a mystery.

Though often my style is a mix of both with the instincts helping me to take a shortcut and solve the problem faster.

But ultimately the joy is in the duel.
It’s me against him.One on one.
Only one can win.
But both are determined.
And both love the fight.

But I always win in the end :-).

Oh what joy it is to win!
The harder the battle, sweeter the victory!!