The Victim Mentality

How many of us suffer from the what I would like to call the 'Victim Mentality'.

My boss doesn't give me work, so I am being wasted. Nobody notices me here. The salary is not good.

We often like to thing that the world has wronged us. It has not been fair to us.
That it does not notice our suffering. That it does not sympathise with us.
And so we suffer. Thinking someone will notice. Someone will give me work.
Someone will notice me. Someone will appreciate me.

But no. Noone does anything. And so you think you are being wronged.
Why am I working so hard? Noone even appreciates me. My work doesnt even matter.

I see this everywhere. We crib and cry over everything.

They dont pay me well you crib. Who has asked you to stay? Don't you know you are free to go?

My boss doesn't give me work. He doesn't notice me. Don't you know that its in your hands to make him notice you? It's in your hands to present yourself in front of him. It's in your hands to take hold of opportunities that come your way.

Still he doesn't notice? Leave. But what if you face the same problem in a new place?
It's still in your hands, isnt'it?

My boss doesnt notice me working hard. Well, you are not the only person working under him. And he's got his own tasks to do.So if he doesn't notice you, he may be to blame partly. But who has stopped you from bringing yourself to his notice?

But we still like to crib. This world is a terrible place. It doesn't care for me.

Sorry. No one in this world has the time to worry about your problems.
Because the world is too busy worrying about its own.

Only the wearer knows just how much it pinches and where. No one else can realise that.

So what you have to do is shout and not suffer silently. And not bottle up things.

Because when you suppress yourself, things wont stay suppressed for long.But will one day burst out in an ugly way.

And when the shoe pinches noone's going to realize and tell you what to do. You have to take action yourself.

The world is neither good nor bad. It is simply what you make of it.

So if you are being oppressed, rebel. If you are being wronged against, fight.

But what do we like to do? Sit and crib. We like to blame 'them' for all our troubles. And we ourselves firmly believe that we can do nothing at all, but suffer.

Why? Because there's a certain glory to suffering. Because we crave sympathy from our friends. Because it's lot easier than taking action.

Yes, when the shoe hurts, We don't change the shoe. We simply crib that it hurts!!
Because we like being the 'Victim'. The victim of fate. The victim of this bad world.

Yes,we are a nation of cribbers. Mahatma Gandhi would have been proud.

Do Dreams Come True?

It's not possible. Dreams can't come true.
How can it be possible?

I mean how does it feel, to think of something,
to dream of something, and to wake up and
find exactly what you had been dreaming of.

How does it feel to know that the more you come
to know about that thing,the more it's what you had dreamt of!

How does if feel to know you have found exactly what you were searching for?

I here, talk about my new job. I haven't started working at this place,
but everything I hear and read about it,is so good.

Almost too good to be true.

I mean ThoughtWorks has so much good publicity on the net.
You will find so many blogs praising ThoughtWorks to hell.
"My life has changed after joining... this is the place to be... free lunches, internet....coolest technology...talented people.." etc...so many sugary words!

As if this is like heaven on earth?

And what effect is all this hype and praise having on me? Can any company live upto so much hype?

And this is what has now taken away my peace.
I just cant wait to see for myself if this really is the place that i dreamt of?
Of what everyone claims to be?

Or is it an illusion? Just a dream.

I guess I will have to wait sometime and see for myself before
I get the answer to that!

I have broken free...!!

Phew! It's finally official.

Yes, I have quit. May 31 is my last day here.

And am joining ThoughtWorks,Pune on June 4. And I just can't wait for the time to pass by.

And am singing Queen's "I want to break free..." as I am typing this.

Why? Well that's a very interesting story, am saving it up for another post!

It's a decision that has shocked many. But those of you who have been reading my previous posts, might have already guessed what was coming.

Yes! It's time for a change!!

For the curious, heres something about my new company!

Fountainhead

The Fountainhead is the most fascinating and inspiring book I have ever read.
Still reading it, enjoying it.

One of my favourite quotes from the book, mouthed by Roark, the protagonist to the Dean of the college,

I have let's say, sixty years to live.
Most of that time will be spent working.
I have chosen the work I want to do.
If I find no joy in it, then I am condemning myself to 60 yrs of torture.
And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me.

Following your Heart

Well, there's lot of literature out there on following your heart.

Everybody wants you to listen to your heart.

Below is one of the best quotes I found on the net, about following one's heart,

The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention,
that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn’t be,
places that are as scary as they are exciting and
as dangerous as they are alluring,
and sometimes your heart takes you to places
that can never lead to a happy ending…
And that’s not even the difficult part.
The difficult part is when you follow your heart,
you leave normal, you go into the unknown…
And once you do, you can never go back.

It's time for a change...!

I am only 25. And am already a manager. And I have a team of bright 23-24 yr olds reporting to me.

But there’s so much I don’t know. So much I want to learn.

It’s time for a change. I want to learn new things.
I want to be good at making software. The time to manage will come.

I want to be a part of a great team, work on making software that will make a difference to people out there.

I want to be with the best out there. I want to be with people like me.
People who are passionate about technology. People who really want to make a difference.

And I can’t find anyone like me here. The people are good and intelligent.
Smart and excellent managers. And they are happy.

But I am not. I don’t want to waste the best years of my life this way.

I have to leave normal.

Goodbye...

The Cradle

Lying in a cradle being gently rocked.

That is how I felt taking a ferry ride to the Janjira fort along with my teammates.

Gentle Gentle Up and Down,
Rocking me to the Peace I so need,
She takes me along,
It's ok, Let it be, she say's,
The sea so vast, Makes me feel my pain so small,
Like my tears are mere drops to the sea.

The world around me is excited and chatty,
Leaving behind all their sorrow, all their pain,
For once, each one is happy and chirpy.
Amidst them, I am in my own retreat,
Amidst the noise, I have found quiet.

It's ok, Let it be,
I am so small, and you are so vast,
You give me peace, you inspire me,
I am one with you,
I am one with the sea.

Crazy

So what do I do over a weekend?

I write code. Surf blogs. Spend time on my laptop.

You may think I am crazy to be spending the weekend with my laptop! And most people do think so!

Most people respond, "You mean you work over weekends?!!"

Well, no, I don't do any official piece of work over my weekend.The code I write is my own.

But for a long time I would feel guilty myself. And I would often hesitate to answer that "So, how was the weekend?” question!

But then, if it's fine for a poet to agonize over his poems the whole day,if it's beautiful to see a painter paint the whole day, if an artist can be one with his art the whole day, then why can’t I be with what I love the whole time?

This is what brings me the most joy. Yes, I am different from you.

But I no longer am ashamed of that.