“Before Sunrise”, and “Before Sunset”. Two fantastic movies. With the sequel even better than the original. Just the kind of movie that I needed to see.
And that too on my birthday. A perfect treat on my birthday. And it ended up teaching me a very important lesson. Something had been missing in my life since some time. Something which was making my life kinda drag.
And that was the Romance.
As any true romantic would tell you, romance need not be limited to love alone. Though love is what inspires the greatest of romances.
Simply walking in the rain, as the drops hit you pitter patter, feeling the chill in the air, and smiling to yourself as you wonder aloud at the beauty in that moment.
The wide open starry sky on a cloudless moonless silent night. What a sight it is to behold. The kind of night where you just wanna gaze right into those little blue dots. And you cant help wondering, that it is God who is the greatest of all artists.
That’s kind of romance that had gone out of my life. There is so much beauty in this world. Yet we let our lives fall into such a routine. How often we fail to notice that which is beautiful.
If only we would pause and look around to see and feel the kind of things ... the kind of things that make us feel like children all over again.
And so the movie, it’s beautifully romantic. How they keep talking so freely and passionately. A talk filled with intellect and humour. It seems that most of the shots were long takes, so as to make them look more natural. And the cinematography, specially in “Before Sunset”, was absolutely beautiful. The most memorable being the boat ride over the river in Paris. Boy it just took my breath away.
I guess I am a bit of a romantic at heart. And I believe there is Magic and Mystery in this world.
And I pray to God that I never ever lose the ability to look at the world with romance tinted eyes.
Unfortunately sometimes it feels like living in a foolish world. Romantics often lose themselves so much in their own world that they forget the practicalities of the world. I mean walking in the rain maybe romantic, but also very likely to bring you down with cold!
So then the question is should i not walk in the rain. Should i choose practicality over romance.
Nah. I dont think I am made that way. I think i will just get wet.
PS:
And I really feel happy when I see someone like me out there. Someone who can see and feel the magic in the things that seem ordinary to others. Someone who is a poet at heart.
Read the blog of such a person today. Was swept away into that world. Thats the beauty of good writing. The kind that makes you feel as if you are right there experiencing the moment as the writer.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Bowled Over By a Beauty!
Amazing. That twinkle in her eyes.
The way she looked.
Her hair,
wet, long, flowing behind.
Her dress,
a cute little blue.
Her smile,
a surprised sweet.
Amazing. How you are in darkness one moment.
And the very next moment, without any warning,
a bright spot of sunlight busts upon you.
And you can't just help, but being blown away.
Why is it, that in those few moments,
You feel more alive than you ever had been.
Like a shower of happiness burst upon you.
Amazing!
The way she looked.
Her hair,
wet, long, flowing behind.
Her dress,
a cute little blue.
Her smile,
a surprised sweet.
Amazing. How you are in darkness one moment.
And the very next moment, without any warning,
a bright spot of sunlight busts upon you.
And you can't just help, but being blown away.
Why is it, that in those few moments,
You feel more alive than you ever had been.
Like a shower of happiness burst upon you.
Amazing!
Books, My Best Friends...
Questions. I am often asking questions to myself.
Questions that bother me and torment me till I find an answer. The kind of questions that may not have an easy answer. And I often do not hope to find the answer.
But amazingly,everytime I do end up getting the answer. And it’s a beautiful feeling when that happens. That moment of enlightenment, when what was foggy suddenly becomes crystal clear.
So everytime I set out in search, I find what I set out for. And the answer doesn’t come from somebody wise or elder. The answer doesnt come from somebody a friend.
I find the answers to the questions in my mind in, … the books that I read. And I almost always chance upon them when I least expect to. Flipping though a random book and suddenly I am staring at the answer to my Question. Right there on those pages. Random pages from a random book.
And it seems to work everytime! So heres what I do whenever something nags me. I pickup a book from my shelf, and turn to a random page and start reading through.
And I invariably find words of wisdom. Words of comfort. That help me and soothe me. And give me courage. As if they know whats going on in my life. And they are trying to help me. Just like a friend would do.
It’s like in this movie, “Next Stop Wonderland”, where the heroine has this book gifted to her by her dad and she often picks a page at random and just picks a random word on that page. And that word almost always symbolises whats going to happen next in her life!
And I feel blessed. Lucky. That my advisor, my pal to turn to in doubt, are these books, written by the great authors.
May be each one of us has someone elder, or a close friend, to whom we turn to in distress. But for me, I find my comfort and solace in these books.
But i then ask myself, what is this miracle? How can these books be my guide? How can they know what I am searching for.
And I realise may be this is the way You speak to me. And this is the most wonderful. Nothing more beautiful. Nothing at all.
Questions that bother me and torment me till I find an answer. The kind of questions that may not have an easy answer. And I often do not hope to find the answer.
But amazingly,everytime I do end up getting the answer. And it’s a beautiful feeling when that happens. That moment of enlightenment, when what was foggy suddenly becomes crystal clear.
So everytime I set out in search, I find what I set out for. And the answer doesn’t come from somebody wise or elder. The answer doesnt come from somebody a friend.
I find the answers to the questions in my mind in, … the books that I read. And I almost always chance upon them when I least expect to. Flipping though a random book and suddenly I am staring at the answer to my Question. Right there on those pages. Random pages from a random book.
And it seems to work everytime! So heres what I do whenever something nags me. I pickup a book from my shelf, and turn to a random page and start reading through.
And I invariably find words of wisdom. Words of comfort. That help me and soothe me. And give me courage. As if they know whats going on in my life. And they are trying to help me. Just like a friend would do.
It’s like in this movie, “Next Stop Wonderland”, where the heroine has this book gifted to her by her dad and she often picks a page at random and just picks a random word on that page. And that word almost always symbolises whats going to happen next in her life!
And I feel blessed. Lucky. That my advisor, my pal to turn to in doubt, are these books, written by the great authors.
May be each one of us has someone elder, or a close friend, to whom we turn to in distress. But for me, I find my comfort and solace in these books.
But i then ask myself, what is this miracle? How can these books be my guide? How can they know what I am searching for.
And I realise may be this is the way You speak to me. And this is the most wonderful. Nothing more beautiful. Nothing at all.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
How Does It Feel - Part 2!
How does it feel to here in ThoughtWorks?!
Hardly a week later, I realise, "Happy" is a terrible understatement!
I feel like on Top of The World!
Yesterday I had the privilege to listen to Roy our chairmain/founder talk. Boy it was the most inspiring speech I had ever heard. His speech answered all the queries I had about this place. He's an amazing personality. And someone with a great sense of humour!
Now I know the secret behind this place.... Roy!
Hardly a week later, I realise, "Happy" is a terrible understatement!
I feel like on Top of The World!
Yesterday I had the privilege to listen to Roy our chairmain/founder talk. Boy it was the most inspiring speech I had ever heard. His speech answered all the queries I had about this place. He's an amazing personality. And someone with a great sense of humour!
Now I know the secret behind this place.... Roy!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Coincidence?!
Coincidence?!
Do you believe in coincidences? I do not. For what often seems like a random coincidence is something that was meant to happen. But understanding why and how is beyond us. Ours is to merely appreciate.
What do you have to say about the below? Mere coincidence? Or does it mean something more?
Well, one fine day I am writing a blog entry and am thinking of a title and suddenly the title flashes into my head, “Thoughts@Work”. Hmm, have I heard this name before? No. But why does it seem familiar...I couldn't figure.
The next day am reading a blog, and guess what, the author is an employee of a company called ThoughtWorks.
Ok, cool. It seems there does exist a company named ThoughtWorks somewhere. But not in India I guess. Never heard of it.
The day after am reading Joel’s India job listings and what do I see there?
ThoughtWorks India is hiring! I couldnt believe it. ThoughtWorks has an India office. That too in Pune! And they are hiring!
My seeing this ad just when I was looking for a new job, coinicidence?
Or Someone trying to show me the path!
And the biggest coincidence of them all? That all this happened during Easter time.
Well, you see, Easter symbolises the end of the old way and the start of a new life.
Just what I was about to do too.
Do you believe in coincidences? I do not. For what often seems like a random coincidence is something that was meant to happen. But understanding why and how is beyond us. Ours is to merely appreciate.
What do you have to say about the below? Mere coincidence? Or does it mean something more?
Well, one fine day I am writing a blog entry and am thinking of a title and suddenly the title flashes into my head, “Thoughts@Work”. Hmm, have I heard this name before? No. But why does it seem familiar...I couldn't figure.
The next day am reading a blog, and guess what, the author is an employee of a company called ThoughtWorks.
Ok, cool. It seems there does exist a company named ThoughtWorks somewhere. But not in India I guess. Never heard of it.
The day after am reading Joel’s India job listings and what do I see there?
ThoughtWorks India is hiring! I couldnt believe it. ThoughtWorks has an India office. That too in Pune! And they are hiring!
My seeing this ad just when I was looking for a new job, coinicidence?
Or Someone trying to show me the path!
And the biggest coincidence of them all? That all this happened during Easter time.
Well, you see, Easter symbolises the end of the old way and the start of a new life.
Just what I was about to do too.
Moments that Changed My Life!
There are those moments when something that we have read or experienced leaves us feeling very inspired. Many a time it has been a movie or a book that has left me with that feeling.
Why this post? Well, I had a series of inspirational moments over a short span of just 10 days, which is what actually made me look for a new job. It was as if the entire the universe was inspiring me and encouraging me to take the take the decision to follow my heart.
Here I recount those moments,
1. Reading Milan Gupta, BT Code Red Chief's blog,
"Currently work for a large telecom company as the technical fixer for the CIO. Have been a CIO myself, been there done that with the lots of people reporting to me thingy. Realized that at the core, I am a technical guy and have more fun being hands-on so .. current job, which allows me to deal with the thorniest technical issues and no administrative burdens or barriers, suits me just fine :-)"
He leads the team assigned to fix the technical issues plaguing any IT project in BT. These lines really struck a chord in me. This was exactly what I had began to feel too and what I wanted to do, hands-on technical work rather than management.
2. Reading Steve Jobs talk about his near death experience after being diagnosed with cancer,
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
This made me think.What if I were to die tomorrow?. No. I am yet do anything in life. And that set me thinking again on what I was doing with my life.
Is this the way I want to live? Far away from the things that I loved doing. Far away from the things that I gave me most joy.Far away from the things that I knew I was good at.
Reading these words made me realise that life can end anytime. And I did not want to have any regrets later when the inevitable would arrive.
3. Chancing upon an amazing book while being bed-ridden. The Fountainhead.
"I have let's say, sixty years to live.
Most of that time will be spent working.
I have chosen the work I want to do.If I find no joy in it, then
I am condemning myself to 60 yrs of torture.
And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me.
"
I could really identify with protagonist in the book and Ayn Rand's philosophy.
4. "Dead Poet's Society"
"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
Some movies transform. Leaving you changed. This was one such movie that left me feeling very inspired.
"Dead Poets' Society is an Academy Award winning 1989 film, directed by Peter Weir.
Set in 1959, it tells the story of an English teacher,John Keating, at a highly conservative and autocratic boys' school who inspires his students to make changes to their lives of conformity through his teaching of poetry and literature.
I could really identify with Robin William’s strikingly different way of teaching poetry to his students. That’s the way I like to approach my work.
Another memorable scene is where John Keating stands on the table in front of his class and encourages his students to do the same, an encouragement to look at the world in a different way.
5. The movie ‘Guru’.
Guru was ofcourse another inspirational movie about one man who knew he had it in him to become big. And he set out to do it, succeeding against all odds.
One of my favourite quotes from the movie, “If I am really that good as you say, why should I work for you. I want to work for myself.”
6. Joel.
"OK, it's live! I've put up a new version of the job board specifically for jobs in India, jobs.joelonsoftware.co.in.
To help fill it up, posting a job is only $50—about 2200 rupees.
Unlike the huge boards, Monsterindia, Naukri.com, etc., a job posted to Joel on Software will get far fewer resumes, but they will be of much higher quality, and as usual, we'll return your money if you're not completely satisfied.
Not loving your job? Visit the Joel on Software Job Board: Great software jobs, great people."
Joel's announcement of a India job board had me excited already. And then I saw this listing of a company called ThoughtWorks. I decide to apply, thinking that this may be the place where I can do what I want to do.
And I do get through within a week!
Leaving one's comfort zone is not easy.
These events helped me overcome all my mental obstacles and take that leap of faith.
I now realise that all we need to do is, to listen. To listen to the words around us. The Signs. The Omens.
These are put on our path by God. To inspire us to take the decisions that will lead us to our destiny.
"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
- The Alchemist.
Why this post? Well, I had a series of inspirational moments over a short span of just 10 days, which is what actually made me look for a new job. It was as if the entire the universe was inspiring me and encouraging me to take the take the decision to follow my heart.
Here I recount those moments,
1. Reading Milan Gupta, BT Code Red Chief's blog,
"Currently work for a large telecom company as the technical fixer for the CIO. Have been a CIO myself, been there done that with the lots of people reporting to me thingy. Realized that at the core, I am a technical guy and have more fun being hands-on so .. current job, which allows me to deal with the thorniest technical issues and no administrative burdens or barriers, suits me just fine :-)"
He leads the team assigned to fix the technical issues plaguing any IT project in BT. These lines really struck a chord in me. This was exactly what I had began to feel too and what I wanted to do, hands-on technical work rather than management.
2. Reading Steve Jobs talk about his near death experience after being diagnosed with cancer,
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
This made me think.What if I were to die tomorrow?. No. I am yet do anything in life. And that set me thinking again on what I was doing with my life.
Is this the way I want to live? Far away from the things that I loved doing. Far away from the things that I gave me most joy.Far away from the things that I knew I was good at.
Reading these words made me realise that life can end anytime. And I did not want to have any regrets later when the inevitable would arrive.
3. Chancing upon an amazing book while being bed-ridden. The Fountainhead.
"I have let's say, sixty years to live.
Most of that time will be spent working.
I have chosen the work I want to do.If I find no joy in it, then
I am condemning myself to 60 yrs of torture.
And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me.
"
I could really identify with protagonist in the book and Ayn Rand's philosophy.
4. "Dead Poet's Society"
"Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."
Some movies transform. Leaving you changed. This was one such movie that left me feeling very inspired.
"Dead Poets' Society is an Academy Award winning 1989 film, directed by Peter Weir.
Set in 1959, it tells the story of an English teacher,John Keating, at a highly conservative and autocratic boys' school who inspires his students to make changes to their lives of conformity through his teaching of poetry and literature.
I could really identify with Robin William’s strikingly different way of teaching poetry to his students. That’s the way I like to approach my work.
Another memorable scene is where John Keating stands on the table in front of his class and encourages his students to do the same, an encouragement to look at the world in a different way.
5. The movie ‘Guru’.
Guru was ofcourse another inspirational movie about one man who knew he had it in him to become big. And he set out to do it, succeeding against all odds.
One of my favourite quotes from the movie, “If I am really that good as you say, why should I work for you. I want to work for myself.”
6. Joel.
"OK, it's live! I've put up a new version of the job board specifically for jobs in India, jobs.joelonsoftware.co.in.
To help fill it up, posting a job is only $50—about 2200 rupees.
Unlike the huge boards, Monsterindia, Naukri.com, etc., a job posted to Joel on Software will get far fewer resumes, but they will be of much higher quality, and as usual, we'll return your money if you're not completely satisfied.
Not loving your job? Visit the Joel on Software Job Board: Great software jobs, great people."
Joel's announcement of a India job board had me excited already. And then I saw this listing of a company called ThoughtWorks. I decide to apply, thinking that this may be the place where I can do what I want to do.
And I do get through within a week!
Leaving one's comfort zone is not easy.
These events helped me overcome all my mental obstacles and take that leap of faith.
I now realise that all we need to do is, to listen. To listen to the words around us. The Signs. The Omens.
These are put on our path by God. To inspire us to take the decisions that will lead us to our destiny.
"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
- The Alchemist.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Last Day..Leaving Infy
Last Day.
This is how I felt on my last day at Infy.
I can’t believe it. Today has been the day I had been waiting for since one and half month. I am now a free man. I have finally being relieved of my job. I should be so happy. But still....why am I not feeling happy.
My brain tells me, hey you should be celebrating. But I am just unable to do so. I am actually feeling sad. Almost numb. Suddenly the feeling, the significance of what I have done is dawning on me.
This was my place. My building. The food courts, the CCD, the open spaces. I no longer have any right over them.
This was my team. I no longer am with them.
That was my badge, a companion for the last 4 years, an eyewitness to all that I had done. I cannot explain what I felt giving it back. Almost like returning a part of me.
I have been so used to all the things that I did here, day in day out. Now no more. Everything will soon be a memory.
It’s going to take me sometime to recover. I still can’t believe that I am no longer in Infy! That I am no longer in FastService, my team.
I guess I am going to really miss the people I have been used to seeing daily. I am going to really miss this place. Knowing very well that I will never be returning back to this place.
Bye Bye Infy. I had the time of my life here. Too many beautiful memories. Thank You!
"Sad to say, I am on my way,
Won't be back for many a day,
My heart is down, My head is turning around,
I have to leave my little girl,
in Kingston Town."
This is how I felt on my last day at Infy.
I can’t believe it. Today has been the day I had been waiting for since one and half month. I am now a free man. I have finally being relieved of my job. I should be so happy. But still....why am I not feeling happy.
My brain tells me, hey you should be celebrating. But I am just unable to do so. I am actually feeling sad. Almost numb. Suddenly the feeling, the significance of what I have done is dawning on me.
This was my place. My building. The food courts, the CCD, the open spaces. I no longer have any right over them.
This was my team. I no longer am with them.
That was my badge, a companion for the last 4 years, an eyewitness to all that I had done. I cannot explain what I felt giving it back. Almost like returning a part of me.
I have been so used to all the things that I did here, day in day out. Now no more. Everything will soon be a memory.
It’s going to take me sometime to recover. I still can’t believe that I am no longer in Infy! That I am no longer in FastService, my team.
I guess I am going to really miss the people I have been used to seeing daily. I am going to really miss this place. Knowing very well that I will never be returning back to this place.
Bye Bye Infy. I had the time of my life here. Too many beautiful memories. Thank You!
"Sad to say, I am on my way,
Won't be back for many a day,
My heart is down, My head is turning around,
I have to leave my little girl,
in Kingston Town."
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Victim Mentality
How many of us suffer from the what I would like to call the 'Victim Mentality'.
My boss doesn't give me work, so I am being wasted. Nobody notices me here. The salary is not good.
We often like to thing that the world has wronged us. It has not been fair to us.
That it does not notice our suffering. That it does not sympathise with us.
And so we suffer. Thinking someone will notice. Someone will give me work.
Someone will notice me. Someone will appreciate me.
But no. Noone does anything. And so you think you are being wronged.
Why am I working so hard? Noone even appreciates me. My work doesnt even matter.
I see this everywhere. We crib and cry over everything.
They dont pay me well you crib. Who has asked you to stay? Don't you know you are free to go?
My boss doesn't give me work. He doesn't notice me. Don't you know that its in your hands to make him notice you? It's in your hands to present yourself in front of him. It's in your hands to take hold of opportunities that come your way.
Still he doesn't notice? Leave. But what if you face the same problem in a new place?
It's still in your hands, isnt'it?
My boss doesnt notice me working hard. Well, you are not the only person working under him. And he's got his own tasks to do.So if he doesn't notice you, he may be to blame partly. But who has stopped you from bringing yourself to his notice?
But we still like to crib. This world is a terrible place. It doesn't care for me.
Sorry. No one in this world has the time to worry about your problems.
Because the world is too busy worrying about its own.
Only the wearer knows just how much it pinches and where. No one else can realise that.
So what you have to do is shout and not suffer silently. And not bottle up things.
Because when you suppress yourself, things wont stay suppressed for long.But will one day burst out in an ugly way.
And when the shoe pinches noone's going to realize and tell you what to do. You have to take action yourself.
The world is neither good nor bad. It is simply what you make of it.
So if you are being oppressed, rebel. If you are being wronged against, fight.
But what do we like to do? Sit and crib. We like to blame 'them' for all our troubles. And we ourselves firmly believe that we can do nothing at all, but suffer.
Why? Because there's a certain glory to suffering. Because we crave sympathy from our friends. Because it's lot easier than taking action.
Yes, when the shoe hurts, We don't change the shoe. We simply crib that it hurts!!
Because we like being the 'Victim'. The victim of fate. The victim of this bad world.
Yes,we are a nation of cribbers. Mahatma Gandhi would have been proud.
My boss doesn't give me work, so I am being wasted. Nobody notices me here. The salary is not good.
We often like to thing that the world has wronged us. It has not been fair to us.
That it does not notice our suffering. That it does not sympathise with us.
And so we suffer. Thinking someone will notice. Someone will give me work.
Someone will notice me. Someone will appreciate me.
But no. Noone does anything. And so you think you are being wronged.
Why am I working so hard? Noone even appreciates me. My work doesnt even matter.
I see this everywhere. We crib and cry over everything.
They dont pay me well you crib. Who has asked you to stay? Don't you know you are free to go?
My boss doesn't give me work. He doesn't notice me. Don't you know that its in your hands to make him notice you? It's in your hands to present yourself in front of him. It's in your hands to take hold of opportunities that come your way.
Still he doesn't notice? Leave. But what if you face the same problem in a new place?
It's still in your hands, isnt'it?
My boss doesnt notice me working hard. Well, you are not the only person working under him. And he's got his own tasks to do.So if he doesn't notice you, he may be to blame partly. But who has stopped you from bringing yourself to his notice?
But we still like to crib. This world is a terrible place. It doesn't care for me.
Sorry. No one in this world has the time to worry about your problems.
Because the world is too busy worrying about its own.
Only the wearer knows just how much it pinches and where. No one else can realise that.
So what you have to do is shout and not suffer silently. And not bottle up things.
Because when you suppress yourself, things wont stay suppressed for long.But will one day burst out in an ugly way.
And when the shoe pinches noone's going to realize and tell you what to do. You have to take action yourself.
The world is neither good nor bad. It is simply what you make of it.
So if you are being oppressed, rebel. If you are being wronged against, fight.
But what do we like to do? Sit and crib. We like to blame 'them' for all our troubles. And we ourselves firmly believe that we can do nothing at all, but suffer.
Why? Because there's a certain glory to suffering. Because we crave sympathy from our friends. Because it's lot easier than taking action.
Yes, when the shoe hurts, We don't change the shoe. We simply crib that it hurts!!
Because we like being the 'Victim'. The victim of fate. The victim of this bad world.
Yes,we are a nation of cribbers. Mahatma Gandhi would have been proud.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Do Dreams Come True?
It's not possible. Dreams can't come true.
How can it be possible?
I mean how does it feel, to think of something,
to dream of something, and to wake up and
find exactly what you had been dreaming of.
How does it feel to know that the more you come
to know about that thing,the more it's what you had dreamt of!
How does if feel to know you have found exactly what you were searching for?
I here, talk about my new job. I haven't started working at this place,
but everything I hear and read about it,is so good.
Almost too good to be true.
I mean ThoughtWorks has so much good publicity on the net.
You will find so many blogs praising ThoughtWorks to hell.
"My life has changed after joining... this is the place to be... free lunches, internet....coolest technology...talented people.." etc...so many sugary words!
As if this is like heaven on earth?
And what effect is all this hype and praise having on me? Can any company live upto so much hype?
And this is what has now taken away my peace.
I just cant wait to see for myself if this really is the place that i dreamt of?
Of what everyone claims to be?
Or is it an illusion? Just a dream.
I guess I will have to wait sometime and see for myself before
I get the answer to that!
How can it be possible?
I mean how does it feel, to think of something,
to dream of something, and to wake up and
find exactly what you had been dreaming of.
How does it feel to know that the more you come
to know about that thing,the more it's what you had dreamt of!
How does if feel to know you have found exactly what you were searching for?
I here, talk about my new job. I haven't started working at this place,
but everything I hear and read about it,is so good.
Almost too good to be true.
I mean ThoughtWorks has so much good publicity on the net.
You will find so many blogs praising ThoughtWorks to hell.
"My life has changed after joining... this is the place to be... free lunches, internet....coolest technology...talented people.." etc...so many sugary words!
As if this is like heaven on earth?
And what effect is all this hype and praise having on me? Can any company live upto so much hype?
And this is what has now taken away my peace.
I just cant wait to see for myself if this really is the place that i dreamt of?
Of what everyone claims to be?
Or is it an illusion? Just a dream.
I guess I will have to wait sometime and see for myself before
I get the answer to that!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I have broken free...!!
Phew! It's finally official.
Yes, I have quit. May 31 is my last day here.
And am joining ThoughtWorks,Pune on June 4. And I just can't wait for the time to pass by.
And am singing Queen's "I want to break free..." as I am typing this.
Why? Well that's a very interesting story, am saving it up for another post!
It's a decision that has shocked many. But those of you who have been reading my previous posts, might have already guessed what was coming.
Yes! It's time for a change!!
For the curious, heres something about my new company!
Yes, I have quit. May 31 is my last day here.
And am joining ThoughtWorks,Pune on June 4. And I just can't wait for the time to pass by.
And am singing Queen's "I want to break free..." as I am typing this.
Why? Well that's a very interesting story, am saving it up for another post!
It's a decision that has shocked many. But those of you who have been reading my previous posts, might have already guessed what was coming.
Yes! It's time for a change!!
For the curious, heres something about my new company!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Fountainhead
The Fountainhead is the most fascinating and inspiring book I have ever read.
Still reading it, enjoying it.
One of my favourite quotes from the book, mouthed by Roark, the protagonist to the Dean of the college,
I have let's say, sixty years to live.
Most of that time will be spent working.
I have chosen the work I want to do.
If I find no joy in it, then I am condemning myself to 60 yrs of torture.
And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me.
Still reading it, enjoying it.
One of my favourite quotes from the book, mouthed by Roark, the protagonist to the Dean of the college,
I have let's say, sixty years to live.
Most of that time will be spent working.
I have chosen the work I want to do.
If I find no joy in it, then I am condemning myself to 60 yrs of torture.
And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me.
Following your Heart
Well, there's lot of literature out there on following your heart.
Everybody wants you to listen to your heart.
Below is one of the best quotes I found on the net, about following one's heart,
The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention,
that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn’t be,
places that are as scary as they are exciting and
as dangerous as they are alluring,
and sometimes your heart takes you to places
that can never lead to a happy ending…
And that’s not even the difficult part.
The difficult part is when you follow your heart,
you leave normal, you go into the unknown…
And once you do, you can never go back.
Everybody wants you to listen to your heart.
Below is one of the best quotes I found on the net, about following one's heart,
The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention,
that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn’t be,
places that are as scary as they are exciting and
as dangerous as they are alluring,
and sometimes your heart takes you to places
that can never lead to a happy ending…
And that’s not even the difficult part.
The difficult part is when you follow your heart,
you leave normal, you go into the unknown…
And once you do, you can never go back.
It's time for a change...!
I am only 25. And am already a manager. And I have a team of bright 23-24 yr olds reporting to me.
But there’s so much I don’t know. So much I want to learn.
It’s time for a change. I want to learn new things.
I want to be good at making software. The time to manage will come.
I want to be a part of a great team, work on making software that will make a difference to people out there.
I want to be with the best out there. I want to be with people like me.
People who are passionate about technology. People who really want to make a difference.
And I can’t find anyone like me here. The people are good and intelligent.
Smart and excellent managers. And they are happy.
But I am not. I don’t want to waste the best years of my life this way.
I have to leave normal.
Goodbye...
But there’s so much I don’t know. So much I want to learn.
It’s time for a change. I want to learn new things.
I want to be good at making software. The time to manage will come.
I want to be a part of a great team, work on making software that will make a difference to people out there.
I want to be with the best out there. I want to be with people like me.
People who are passionate about technology. People who really want to make a difference.
And I can’t find anyone like me here. The people are good and intelligent.
Smart and excellent managers. And they are happy.
But I am not. I don’t want to waste the best years of my life this way.
I have to leave normal.
Goodbye...
The Cradle
Lying in a cradle being gently rocked.
That is how I felt taking a ferry ride to the Janjira fort along with my teammates.
Gentle Gentle Up and Down,
Rocking me to the Peace I so need,
She takes me along,
It's ok, Let it be, she say's,
The sea so vast, Makes me feel my pain so small,
Like my tears are mere drops to the sea.
The world around me is excited and chatty,
Leaving behind all their sorrow, all their pain,
For once, each one is happy and chirpy.
Amidst them, I am in my own retreat,
Amidst the noise, I have found quiet.
It's ok, Let it be,
I am so small, and you are so vast,
You give me peace, you inspire me,
I am one with you,
I am one with the sea.
That is how I felt taking a ferry ride to the Janjira fort along with my teammates.
Gentle Gentle Up and Down,
Rocking me to the Peace I so need,
She takes me along,
It's ok, Let it be, she say's,
The sea so vast, Makes me feel my pain so small,
Like my tears are mere drops to the sea.
The world around me is excited and chatty,
Leaving behind all their sorrow, all their pain,
For once, each one is happy and chirpy.
Amidst them, I am in my own retreat,
Amidst the noise, I have found quiet.
It's ok, Let it be,
I am so small, and you are so vast,
You give me peace, you inspire me,
I am one with you,
I am one with the sea.
Crazy
So what do I do over a weekend?
I write code. Surf blogs. Spend time on my laptop.
You may think I am crazy to be spending the weekend with my laptop! And most people do think so!
Most people respond, "You mean you work over weekends?!!"
Well, no, I don't do any official piece of work over my weekend.The code I write is my own.
But for a long time I would feel guilty myself. And I would often hesitate to answer that "So, how was the weekend?” question!
But then, if it's fine for a poet to agonize over his poems the whole day,if it's beautiful to see a painter paint the whole day, if an artist can be one with his art the whole day, then why can’t I be with what I love the whole time?
This is what brings me the most joy. Yes, I am different from you.
But I no longer am ashamed of that.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Passion vs Reason
What do you choose? Between passion and reason.
Why I ask this question? Let me explain.
Saturday morning.
I have an argument with my dad. Regarding the new stereo system that we were planning to buy. Well, my dad really loves his music and wanted to buy this really expensive hi-fi 5.1 channel DVD system.
And me, who's used to ending up at the nearest multiplex at the drop of a hat, was like who will ever watch a DVD/movie at home?!
So I argued that we should instead go for a nice stereo system that will be cheaper and drop the plans for an expensive DVD system.
I stopped arguing when I saw a little hurt in his eyes. So I finally agreed, but was not convinced at this 'waste of money' as I saw it.
Sunday afternoon.
The brand new sleek and sexy box arrives at our home. And am blown away just by the looks! And then we play a DVD movie. It's a song I have heard many times before.
And I am totally blown off by the sound I hear. Crystal clear and distortion free. Loud but no noise.
I couldn’t help wondering this was a song that I had heard so many times before and yet here I was hearing sounds that I had never heard before! It was an exhilarating experience!
Today one of the reasons I rush home every weekend is just to lie down in front of my music system and hear my favourite songs. I can even play the mp3 collection on my laptop through this!
It's amazing the kind of joy this has brought me. And I am thankful to dad for not giving in to my reasoning.
So that's it. What your passion says may not always seem logical, but the amount of happiness that it can bring to you, is unimaginable.
Never again will I let my passion be subdued by reason.
Because what I may gain, is a hell lot more than what I may lose.
So follow your passion, wherever it may take you.
There’s no other secret to happiness.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Discovering Oneself
24 years of my life, I never felt like taking pictures. Never thought I had anything special in me.
Then one picture changed everything.
The reactions to that one picture made me realise that I may have something in me. And much more than anything else, made me realise just how much I enjoy taking pictures.
It’s amazing, how is it that you never knew you could do something and then one day you suddenly realise that you may actually be good at that something?
How does it feel to discover that you may have that spark in you?
Makes me wonder what other things I have in me which I have not even attempted to discover.
And if I never try how will I ever find?
Appraisals
It's April. Another appraisal season.
It was one such pressure filled season years back,that made me think about the importance of appraisals. And I found myslef asking if appraisals really mattered to me? They do matter as an employee ofcourse, but do they matter to me as an individual?
Why do I do the work I do? What is that makes me do it well? What is that makes me want to stay back in office, work hard, sacrifice my pleasures?
An A in my appraisal? A 1 ranking among my peers? Awards?
Is that all that motivates me?
And I then realised that , No, I don’t crave these. The only thing that matters to me, is my own satisfaction, my own joy, my own thrill, my own sense of achievement.
What if I dont get any awards. What if I get a 3 ranking or a B-?
Would that make me someone less worthwhile?
Would a folded up,crushed 1000 rupee note lose any of its value? Would it lose any of its value if someone calls it anything less?
Would you become less wothwhile just becomes someone thinks so?
What matters to me is the difference I have made to the people with whom I have worked. No awards and no rankings can make up for that.
So another season is coming up soon. And I no longer care what I get. Because I know the work that I have done. And I am happy with it. But not content yet, because there's so much more to do and learn.
At the end of day, the insight that I have gained is that, the fun is in the journey ( doing your work well and learning from it) , and not in the destination. ( Awards! )
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Insights!
Insights! There’s a difference between knowing something and knowing the secret behind something.
Be it Life, Love or Technology.
Secrets which are secrets because they are not obvious at first glance and choose to reveal themselves somehow someplace while you are working on the questions to which they are the answers. Or sometimes when you are happily doing something totally different!
And that’s when you gain the insight! And your mind becomes somewhat enlightened. And from then on you see things in a different light.
I find great delight in such little insights that I get from time to time, mostly when I am least expecting it.
Like the time when I was working on a really tricky problem, debugging late into the night and decided to give up for the day and go home. The moment I reached my place, the solution struck me like lightening! And I couldn’t wait to reach office the next day and try out my solution. It’s a really painful feeling to know that you have the keys to the treasure but you can’t open it till morning!
And next day early morning I walked into my office mumbling to myself the way to solve the problem, to the amazement of my colleagues. And boy did it work….
Or Like the other time I remember when we had been given a tough problem by our Physics Prof., which no one could solve. And the solution suddenly came to me while, of all the things, I was taking bath!
I know how Archimedes must have felt when he found the solution to the King’s problem by discovering density while laying in his bath tub. Legend says that he was so elated with his discovery that he actually ran out naked shouting “Eureka! Eureka! I have found it!!”
Nah, I didn’t dare do the same at that time. That was Greece, 200 B.C. This was India, 2000 A.D.
Jokes apart, this blog really is to share with you many such insights, some delightful, some enlightening and some plain funny. On Life as well as Technology.
And I hope you will feel the same sense of wonder and agreement I had when these insights struck me.
Be it Life, Love or Technology.
Secrets which are secrets because they are not obvious at first glance and choose to reveal themselves somehow someplace while you are working on the questions to which they are the answers. Or sometimes when you are happily doing something totally different!
And that’s when you gain the insight! And your mind becomes somewhat enlightened. And from then on you see things in a different light.
I find great delight in such little insights that I get from time to time, mostly when I am least expecting it.
Like the time when I was working on a really tricky problem, debugging late into the night and decided to give up for the day and go home. The moment I reached my place, the solution struck me like lightening! And I couldn’t wait to reach office the next day and try out my solution. It’s a really painful feeling to know that you have the keys to the treasure but you can’t open it till morning!
And next day early morning I walked into my office mumbling to myself the way to solve the problem, to the amazement of my colleagues. And boy did it work….
Or Like the other time I remember when we had been given a tough problem by our Physics Prof., which no one could solve. And the solution suddenly came to me while, of all the things, I was taking bath!
I know how Archimedes must have felt when he found the solution to the King’s problem by discovering density while laying in his bath tub. Legend says that he was so elated with his discovery that he actually ran out naked shouting “Eureka! Eureka! I have found it!!”
Nah, I didn’t dare do the same at that time. That was Greece, 200 B.C. This was India, 2000 A.D.
Jokes apart, this blog really is to share with you many such insights, some delightful, some enlightening and some plain funny. On Life as well as Technology.
And I hope you will feel the same sense of wonder and agreement I had when these insights struck me.
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