Ah Coincidence!

Ah Coincidence!
What are you?
Are you for real?
Or Are you a dream? An imaginary illusion?
Are you really who you are?
Or are you more than what you seem?

Ah coincidence, why do I see you,
when others cannot.
Why do I ask you,
when others do not.

Where do you come from?
What do you want to say?
Why are you here?
When you can be elsewhere.

What do I see in you?
What others cannot.
Magic and mystery, beyond what we know.
Who has sent you?
What do you want me to do?

Ah Coincidence!
You never cease to amaze me.
How can you be for real?
The hearts alone know how it can feel.
I welcome you with open arms.
Make my life an everyday adventure.

Ah Coincidence!
I love you for who you are!

Passion vs Reason.. Part 2

I have always been a believer in choosing passion over reason. If only for those few moments of extreme happiness.

But today I saw these three movies over the flight, which made me realise one thing. Passion can destroy you. Passion can spoil your life beyond repair.

Movie 1: Unfaithful. Diane Lane has an absolutely passionate extra-marital affair.
Movie 2: Mandira Bedi again has an extra-marital affair with her lover.
Movie 3: Amrita Singh, mother of a girl about to be married, spends a passionate night in the fields with her lover.
Some villagers happen to see her the next day and mistake her for the daughter.
And the daughters name gets spoiled. Mother is left stunned, unable to say the truth.
Daughter unable to bear the shame and also unable to tell the world that it was not her but her mother kills herself. (Great direction by Megna Gulzar...)

Three lives destroyed by passion.

What if you knew such a woman?
What if you knew your next door neighbor's wife was such a woman?
What would you think about her?

Bitch? Whore?

What would you feel about such a woman?
Anger? Hatred? Disgust?

I would feel pity. I would feel sad. I would feel an understanding. We all desire love so much. And the way we are made, we cant help but be attracted to that love. It's the very basic instinct. And also a need to feel alive.

So when love comes knocking at your door, what do you do?
When you know this person feels more passion for you than your husband can ever do, what do you do?
What do you do when you know that a few moments with this lover can give you a happiness you haven't known for long?
Even if its wrong...
Who doesn't want to be loved like crazy?
How can a wife, neglected by her husband not give in to this wonderful and passionate lover?

And here, I want to put all blame on the husband. A woman gives you her heart, which is I think the most precious thing in this world. From the million other guys behind her, vying for her, she choose you. Yes you. You above everyone else.

And what do you do with that? You take her for granted. You give your heart to your work, you give importance to your interests.
And you forget that this is the woman, who could have wanted anyone she wanted to, but she choose you instead.

At the same time, often it doesn't mean that the husband doesn't love her. Sometimes we guys don't know how to show our emotion. Sometimes we forget what it means to the woman in our lives to be given something as simple as a lovely rose, out of the blue ,for no reason at all. Or when you surprise her by making her coffee in bed. Or when you take her out on a surprise date!

That was the romantic side of things. Another opportunity for love comes when you make a sacrifice for her. When you so want to watch your football match but you still let her watch her favourite movie. Yes love means putting her before you.

And I am reminded of the story of the Magi by Omar Henry. Christmas is the season for gifts.
But what happens when two lovers, too poor to buy each other a gift, still want to make each other happy?
The girl shaves of her hair to buy him what he wanted.
The guys sells of his watch to buy her what she wanted.
Two people, sacrifice the one thing most important to themselves, for the one they love.

So sacrifice then is another side of love.

So what if you are that husband? You love your wife dearly, but somehow you let your work take more importance.
Busy in your daily life, you forget to care for her. You forget she has needs. She has desires.
She wants to feel special. She wants to feel loved.

And fed up of you she drifts away. She wants to leave.

What do you do then?

If you truly love her, you fight for her. You put in all your heart and soul to win her back.
And it is that fight more than anything that will bring her back to you.
Nothing more great for a woman than seeing her love, love her so much as to fight for her.

Love then means you are ready to fight. You are ready to fight for her love.

But all this love thing seems so complicated. I feel the deepest admiration for people like Abdul Kalam and Mother Teresa, who have never married and may be, may be never loved a woman/man all their lives. But love is not absent from their hearts. Theirs is a love so great that we ordinary mortals can only admire.

I mean how is it to be someone like that? To be so filled with love that you love the entire world?
To be so selfless in love. To feel so much love as to not ask for anything in return?
To sacrifice yourselves for the greater good of the world?

What I want to say to all those women out there, who don't feel as loved by their husbands, give us guys another chance.
We are not so good at showing our emotions. We may not take you out for a candle light dinner everyday. But we do love you deeply. Tell us you how you feel and let us fight for you.

And to all those guys out there, it's wonderful to be loved by a woman. Don't take her for granted.

Simple things really. And they write all those books and manuals about love and relationships!!

And my greatest respect and admiration to all those men and women out there who look passion in the eye and yet resist the wrong. Because what matters is doing what is right. Even if your heart wants to do the wrong thing.I mean, after all anyone can be swayed by passion. But the strong still walk down the right path.

Passion vs Reason...its not such a simple thing after all..sometimes the only way is to follow the path and let destiny unfold.

Ego.

I love seeing patterns that come across in our daily routine life. Sometimes certain themes, things, names seem to keep crossing our paths. Almost as if Someone is trying to tell us something. Sign? Omens? I don't know...or may be just me being conscious of that thing...

Last weekend,it's been, the Human Ego, in some form or the other that I had been noticing.

The ego of the passenger who couldn't take it that the bus conductor had asked him to show him his ticket. Why do you want me to show my ticket! I had just taken the ticket a while back. What do you think?

The ego of the bus conductor who couldn't take a passenger screaming at him in front of others.

And pointlessly they fought over something so trivial.

The ego of the teacher who couldnt take it when a student walked upto her and told her the truth that she is not teaching well enough. And how she retaliated by always picking on that poor student everytime thereafter.

The ego of the professors who arrogantly proclaim that the viva marks of the students are in their hands and so they better behave!

My own ego when my friends made fun of me.

I was hurt by what they said, harmless fun to them, but something that I felt very bad about.

But now when I think of it, my sense of worth, of who I am, cannot be changed by what someone else says.

Who I am, is defined by what I feel within.

If we feel that way, we will not be at mercy of the world and
our egoes will not be so brittle as to be burst by any Tom,Dick or Harry.

Let me end with another story about ego. Again something that came up last weekend when I was watching Terminal. There's this scene, where Catherine tells Tom Hanks about Napolean. Napoleans ego actually prevented him from dieing. He so believed in his superhuman powers that to kill himself he took six times the dosage for the poison. But his body totally rejected the overdose and he didnt die.

Not sure if this story is true, but...

The poem that started it all....

Have been reading poems since school. But back then it was because they were part of the syllabus. Never connected with them. Poems were all about identifying a mixture of different figures of speech that were being taught in the grammar classes. Never found the beauty that lay in them.

Today its different. I absolutely love the world of poems. I don't know exactly when all this started, but I think the below poem was the starting point...

This is from the movie, In Her Shoes. Cameron Diaz, who was dyslexic, and had lots of differences with her sister throughout the movie, overcomes her disability, and shows her love for her sister by reading this poem by E.E. Cummings.

Something about the way she read it, and the poem itself, inspired a great interest in me in poetry. How a few words can convey so much emotion, so beautifully.

Now I enjoy being in the world of poems. Am always on the lookout for more poems and once in a while, when I am feeling really inspired, I write one too.

This one's an absolute must see.

And heres the ending lines, which are my favourite,

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart (i carry it in my heart).

Some Opposites - Richard Wilbur

Noticed this poem here http://justamotheroftwo.blogspot.com/2007/01/poem-to-bring-you-joy.html.

Absolutely caught me off guard, not the kind of serious or philosophical poem I have read before, but delightfully imaginative and sweetly musical....but if you look carefully, it is indeed philosophical...

Some Opposites
Richard Wilbur

What is the opposite of riot?
It is lots of people keeping quiet.

The opposite of doughnut? Wait
A minute while I meditate
This isn’t easy. Ah! I’ve found it.
It’s a cookie with a hole around it.

What is the opposite of two?
A lonely me,a lonely you.

The opposite of a cloud could be
A white reflection in the sea
Or a huge blueness in the air
Caused by the cloud’s not being there

The opposite of opposite?
That’s much too difficult.I quit.

And Why Do I Blog?...

And so besides the fact that I enjoy writing, there's another reason that I like to blog. I don't expect popularity or fame. I am fine with it if not too many people read this place. So in a way, this place is a private place.

You must have heard about the "Message in a bottle" story many times. Typically someone puts in a letter in a bottle and throws it into the sea, hoping that the message will travel far across the sea and reach some unknown shore, where someone might read the message and want to reply back, thus starting off an interesting friendship...

In someways, I like to think of this blog as that message in a bottle...thrown out into the sea of web.

So, Why Do I Write?

Am not sure if I am a good writer or not, but one of the primary reasons I write, is because I like to think. I like to think of the posibilities out there in the world. I like to think about the reasons that exist in this world. I like to think of what could have happened. And why did it happen in the first place.

Are our lives predestined? Or is it all random. I am always trying to understand myself. Why is it that I like certain things and hate the others. Why do I react in certain ways to certain things.

It's like as if I am my own psychologist. I would have been a psychologist for sure, if not an engineer. Though understanding the human mind is infinitely more complex than understanding computers.

And then there are these books and movies, which set me thinking again. And I can't help but express them. Because till I do that, these thoughts seem to be abstract things floating around in my head. Almost knocking hard, to be let out.

And so I write.

My first inspiration to write came from Paulo Coelho's novel "By the River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept." Towards the end of the novel, when the heroine is sitting by the river crying over her lost love, an old woman asks her to write down her feelings. As you pour your sorrow into words, your sadness will subside.

Well, I too was at that time somewhat in sorrow. And intrigued by this advice, I tried writing about my feelings. And I still remember that day. I started of sad, but by the time I finished writing, I was much better. The sadness had been replaced by peace. I was happy I had expressed my feelings.

Later on ofcourse I realised that I do enjoy writing. But what I derive most value from, is the how good it feels to let my thoughts out. And how, inevitably they are more clearer after having been expressed in words.
By the time I finish, I have new insights and ideas and most importantly I have clarity.

Now I know why one blogger had her blog titled, "Because I do think".

Nowadays I have discovered that I can't sleep at night. I can't sleep till I feel fulfilled. Satisfied that I have done something. Created something. Or learnt something new.

And often it's a bit of writing that I do that kind of calms me down. It's like this immense feeling of restlessness. The day just can't end till I write something new.

I like to believe hardly anybody reads these posts. That what I write is liked by some is more like a bonus. But it does encourage me to keep on going.

When you comment on my posts, your words encourage me. They encourage me to continue writing. They encourage me to become better than before. And for that more than anything, I am grateful. Thanks friends! Thanks for reading and thanks for all the encouragement!

Excited...

Right now, I am in the eye of a storm of an idea. I am so excited
about this thought that has struck me this saturday morning, that I
cant just wait to share it with my friend.

Damn where are you? Pickup the phone! I just have to get this out to you...

So right now am looking at that phone, walking randomly all over the place. I am feeling something I havent felt in a long time now.

To be so filled with excitement, almost like a child jumping up and
down, waiting desperately for his mother to come home so that he can tell her that he has come first at school!

Oh time so flows by slowly.....these are the times I wish I could be like Henry and time travel...

Trinity

A hundred stars, all burning bright,
Yet there is one, different from the rest,
Shining away her own special light.

Heart and soul, all together,
like a hero, leading from the front,
led by no one,
but her dreams,
there she goes,
blazing through the woods,
overcoming all clouds,
carving a path, that is her own.

Day and night she burns her oil,
miles to go, before she can sleep,
this is her dream, this is her destiny,
to shine her light where no light has been before.

Stars in her eyes, ambitions so high,
Yet she walks her path with a smile so simple,
can put a baby to peace,
can charm the heart of a devil.

Intellect in her eyes, wisdom of the world,
yet flashes in her eyes, a sensitivity so beautiful.

High on success, yet feet on the ground.
Proud of herself, yet humble to the core.
Grateful and compassionate, but not the one to be cowed.
Strong heart. But a simple soul.

Talks like a woman,
plays like a girl,
laughs like a child,
there's no one like her,
she's one of a kind.

Who's this person? Who's she?
A beautiful mind. An inspiration.
A Dream in motion.
She's Mystery. She's Trinity.

Lost...

How does it feel when the worst comes true?
Something you always thought happens to others, happens to you?
Something that you had a small intuition that it might happen. But something deep inside you didn't even want to think that it could happen.

Tonite, I am at loss. I don't know what to feel.
Why me? Why again? Just when I had plans...now all those little dreams quashed. You are too late sir, life's moved on while you were making plans.

But am tired. Life goes on. Will go a little slow I guess for 
some time now.
 
But will go on...

Hope tommorow will bring a bright new day...

At the Airport...

There's something nice about this place where I am seated now as I write this. This is a corner of the Mumbai airport
where more than anything else, at this moment, there's absolute quite, with just the trickle of sound so that
the silence doesn't make you go crazy. And with the seats sparsely populated there is no one to disturb me as I write.
And there's this layer of books on the wall to my right, where theres a bookshop, which seems to add to my inspiration.

Now this is fun. Am supposed to be in office right now, but am sitting here at the airport, cosy in my seat, typing away! Thanks to good old Deccan delaying my flight by just 4 hours.

I feel like the school child who's happy he doesnt have to go to school today because its raining heavily!

Boy, this is so perfect that I just cant stop writing. It's one of those moments when I can literally feel the creative juices flowing.

Ya, but its another thing that I was actually desperate to reach office. But for the time being, while the other passengers are screaming and venting all the frustrations in their life on the poor soft spoken deccan chap, I am here having fun and enjoying this sudden unexpected moments of pleasure.

But I feel sad for that deccan chap, being soft spoken in front of group of angry passengers is like open invitation to come kick my ass!

Damn! I just heard the announcement that the jetlite flight to hyderabad has been hijacked! Am on the edge of my seat at this suddent turn of events. How much more adventurous can things get.

But everything returns back to normal when I hear the announcement again...they just said the jetlite flight to hyderabad and vizag is ready for departure.

So I heard vizag as hijacked! I wonder what if I was a desperate Aaj Tak news reporter! This would have been the breaking news that wasn't.

What does success mean to you?

Hey, I think most parents got it wrong. Especially in India.
I mean I grew up seeing most parents, including my own,
wanting one thing more than anything else from their children. Topping the school board exams.

I mean, that was like the prime goal. And so were the vacation coaching classes and burning the midnight oil.

But what were they saying to us indirectly? That all that matters is to be at number one. That you have to be one rank above your peers. Only then can you be happy. Only then are you superior to them. It's where you stand relative to your peers, what matters most in life.

And how many of us have grown up believing this and still spend our time trying to reach that number one spot in this competitive world?

The question is, for me to feel good about myself, for me to be happy; do I have to be superior to him/her?

And I think the answer is no. Each one of us is good in someway or the other. Each one of us has his own good qualities. And any real world team needs a combination of all. Just because there is Sachin doesn't mean that you don’t need the Dravids,Yuvrajs and Dhonis!.

And so there is no point in comparing yourself with others. It just has to stop.

But what am I saying here. Since the beginning of time, men have been driven by one desire alone. To be the best at what they do. To be better than the other. To be number one. To be the best actor/actress/painter/programmer/athlete...

And even the Olympic Games salute the spirit of healthy competition. "Without you my competitor, I am nothing." That's true. And beautiful.

But what applies to sports, do we need to apply to our lives?

Being number one, because you enjoy so much what you do that you just can’t help. Now that's different from being wanting to be number one because only that can make you feel worthy. If only that is your source of happiness and self esteem, then it is a pity.

At the end of the day, what would you define as success in this competition? A salary hike? A promotion for all those hours spent slogging away at office? A best employer award?

Or would it be watching your child grow into a fine young man? Coming home to someone you love? Making a difference to the society? To the country?

What then would success be for you?

As for me, after four years working in this industry, I don't want to be better than anybody anymore. I have had my successes and awards. But now I am out of this rat race. Being better than the other no longer motivates me.

Yet I will continue to work hard. I will continue to be better than who I was before. Because this is what I love doing.

But I think, for me success would be, if I can make one unhappy soul happy. If I can do something that will make a difference to the people around me. And it would be doubly wonderful if I can make use of my computing skills to do the same.

PS:
And I wish that everybody wouldn't stress so much on rankings in board exams. I wish parents would encourage their children to equate their sense of self worth to the contribution they make to their world.
And I hope every child’s ambition would be to grow up to be good human beings more than anything else.

Taare Zameen Par... the Best Ending Scene Ever..

I like to pay special attention to exactly how a movie ends. The last few moments, the ending shot. You must have seen how most movies end with the couple/hero on a bus moving down the road and last shot is that of the back of the bus moving away. And the clichéd riding into the sunset.

But there are some movies which have great endings. And Taare's ending shot is I think one of the best ending shots I have ever seen.

Darsheel has just won the competition and is ready to go back with his parents. But just before he gets into the car, he jumps out and makes a dash for his Guru, Amir.

And as the boy runs forwad, the camera moves back in absolute slow motion and the rocking background music erupts.

And the Amir lifts him high up into the air with his arms stretched wide open, as if he’s flying through the air, reaching for the sky.

And the shot freezes at that very instant. Amir holding the outstretched boy in the air.
Makes for an amazingly beautiful moment.

Capturing everything that the director meant to convey. The euphoria. The freedom. The happiness. The gratitude.

10 seconds of absolute genius. The best ending I have ever seen.

Applause!!

Taare Zameen Par...What I Liked Most...

Finally ended up seeing this movie which everyone had been talking about.
And I am really moved.

Though what I liked most about the movie, was the whole last section where the painting competition happens. You see, it’s easy to tell a story. But it’s very difficult to give it a good ending. And that’s what differentiates a great movie from an ordinary one. The whole competition was very nicely picturized. With the teachers and the students letting their hair down and joining in the fun. It was very uplifting. It brings up the whole movie, which till then was very sad. It brings a cheer to your heart. Fills you with hope.

There are many things that go into a great movie. Good direction, acting, script, cinematography, music etc.. and this movie had everything really good about it. Loved the cinematography, the close up shots, the slow motion shots, the use of special effects, ( my favourite being the train which goes round Darsheel's head in a dream sequence ), the brilliant and moving music.

Some of my other favourite moments were the Solomon Islands dialogue, the entry of Amir Khan as a clown, Darsheel doing a Michael Jackson moonwalk outside the classroom while on punishment, the flipbook, all those school episodes like the leave of absence letters, the incomplete homeworks etc...I enjoyed the school moments more so because they brought back those distant memories of my own school time. Now when I look back, I just smile at how far I have come now.

All in all, an excellent movie. Three cheers to Amir and his crew. And of course Darsheel. Without whom the movie would have been not the same.